Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
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