drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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