If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
Randomize
