Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
My dad just said "fuck circus"
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
Randomize
