Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
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