Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
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