Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
Randomize
