well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
You can't just leave with hair like that
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
Randomize
