she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
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