I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Randomize
