Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
Randomize
