Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
Randomize
