i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
Randomize
