Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
well I can't set my house on fire every night
I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
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