called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
Randomize
