Just sold all of my pants in order to buy tonight's whiskey. Goodbye, high functioning alcoholism. Hello, Dad.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
Randomize
