Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
Less talking, more tequila
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
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