There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
two words...techno handjob
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
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