I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
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