just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
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