and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
Randomize
