if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
