Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
Randomize
