K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
I need a beard to bite.
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
Randomize
