bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize
