I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
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