how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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