I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Randomize
