Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
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