First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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