so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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