What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
Randomize
