I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
Randomize
