have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
