ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize
