i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
