I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
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