yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
