I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
Randomize
