fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Randomize
