how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
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