summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
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