got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Randomize
