and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
Randomize
