Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
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