First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
Randomize
