There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
Randomize
