Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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