we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
Randomize
