Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
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