Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
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